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Confessions of a Fanpire Disclaimer: Emmett told me that if I don't say this that he will eat my dog. *Sob* I do not *sob* own *sob* Twilight. *sobs hopelessly, ruining keyboard*
"There! Happy now Emmett!?!" Emmett grins evilly with blood dripping down his chin.
A/N: I had a fantastic time writing this crazy little one shot crack fic. I came up with this at 2:00 A.M. with my friends. I think we were joking about the time that I jumped off a cliff (Yes! I actually have!!!) and were thinking 'What if the Cullens were there?' So I, the hilarious actress, was acting out the part where Isa is attempting to jump off the cliff. My friends, as usual, thought it was absolutely hysterical! So before sleeping, I got on my laptop and wrote some of this. I absolutely ADORE this and I still can't believe that I actually wrote it. So I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!
Explanations by EdwardExplanations
Edward and I were laying in our meadow. It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning. (As usual, it was nothing compared to my Edward. ) Victoria was dead and I was enjoying my human life with my gorgeous vampire fiancée and loyal werewolf friend.
So. I began, If vampires are real. And so are werewolves. Then are the other myths real too. I was shocked that the monsters of nightmares were actually real. Although, most of them were not really monsters. I still had to know how oblivious (or not) we humans are.
Edward sighed at my ignorance. There are a lot of myths. Which ones do you have in mind?
Umm. De ja vu. Where did that come from?
Edward smiled. Vampires.
Let me finish, Bella. Edward said calmly. He smiled may favorite crooked smil
WHY AM I TEAM JACOB?
1. real men don't sparkle
2. vampires are over rated
3. werewolves don't get enough love
4. Edward doesn't walk around half naked
5. Native American guys are hot
6. Jacob is fluffy
7. wolves kick ass
8. I can take the heat
9. I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf
10. I'd rather have a cuddly space heater than a giant sparkly rock
11. Jacob doesn't watch you while your sleeping
12. Jacob would take you cliff diving
13. Jacob is ANIMALISTIC
14. he does it DOGGIE STYLE
15. Jacob isn't an overprotective stalker
16. He's not a giant ice cube
17. If you were in danger, he wouldn't run away to keep you safe, he would stand and fight
18. dogs are people's best friends
19. you wouldn't have to change to be with him
20. to many people are obsessed with Sparkle Man
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More